tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post1481718423337943806..comments2023-08-01T02:00:42.012-07:00Comments on A Year After the Affair: Jaymie Would NOT be Keeping the Swag!shawnthewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12655900090203024578noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-89458690429516830862013-07-11T19:37:36.818-07:002013-07-11T19:37:36.818-07:00You're right, liars cheat and cheaters lie and...You're right, liars cheat and cheaters lie and ones that cheat multiple times will never change, all they do is wait for the next whorish opportunity to pop up. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-87024754681560806922013-06-26T16:11:17.109-07:002013-06-26T16:11:17.109-07:00You should have had a full disclosure with his the...You should have had a full disclosure with his therapist and your therapist. That is the only way to get information out of some of these weasels. They even lie to their own therapists. Lying is just part of them. And you realize that lawyers are considered the worst. Lawyers and actors - liars all of them. Cheats and liars. My H is soon to be a lawyer. Ha hahahahaha. But we together have a plan. I am to stay for 5 years for my darling daughter. I have 4 to go. Yippee. I hope as I am reading that you got your full disclosure. But I don't understand why you only focus on Jaymie. Of course, that's non of my business.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-57413073640772700892013-06-26T00:53:39.551-07:002013-06-26T00:53:39.551-07:00HaHa! ~ I love ya Shawn I really do. You are lucky...HaHa! ~ I love ya Shawn I really do. You are lucky I wasn't your hubby's OW. If you threatened to call my pops, I would've taken a pic with of all Richard's gifts, probably sticking my tongue out at you holding a sign up with my father's number on it saying "go ahead make my day." And if my father would've found out your 60 year old husband seduced my 24 yr old body, a whole new war would've broke out. You definitely would've met your match ~ haha! That's not an insult at all, I'm just saying you got lucky, very very lucky & that is a good thing. Seems llike Jaymie handled herself with class after DDay, something I wish I would've done, but you said it best. Let the bitch whore go.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-11465189597769963542012-07-24T16:38:57.018-07:002012-07-24T16:38:57.018-07:00You are so right, Shawn, the WH can always say no,...You are so right, Shawn, the WH can always say no, and mine did not. So I can blame the OW, or I can blame the circumstances, but ultimately it was my WH's choice to have an affair with this opportunistic whore... AND to drink the koolaid of her bullshit threats. <br /><br />Like you, I was obsessed with making her pay... especially since my WH was so beaten down and remorseful that me raging against him just caused him to shut down in shame...taking it out on her just seemed like so much more fun!! But it became clear to me that she was a deeply troubled person, and did I really want to drag that craziness into my life? Believe it or not, my husband used to speak freely to me about her during the A when they were still working together. Telling me that she would get drunk on her lunch hour and come back to the office in a rage. That he felt sorry for her husband, that she was such a load that he couldn't imagine what it must be like to live with her. Why would I ever suspect that my H would be involved with someone like that? I now know that her rage was directed at him, when he would travel with me or tell her that he had no intention of leaving me for her she would act out in front of their co-workers. I'm sure he was as nervous as hell that she was going to spill the beans during one of her drunken tantrums.<br /><br />So, it wasn't that I was smart, I just happened to have enough information about the OW to tread lightly. But I can tell you, I love having the power now, and the best revenge for me is that she is in an unhappy marriage and she did not "win". I will have to be satisfied with that...<br /><br />My love and best to you, **S**Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-38113697044331038872012-07-24T15:43:27.418-07:002012-07-24T15:43:27.418-07:00**S** My rage was unbridled, out of control and al...**S** My rage was unbridled, out of control and all encompassing. The pain of the betrayal was too much to bear, so I let my anger rule the roost. I thought if I directed all the rage where it belonged, right at Richard, our marriage was over. Not sure that I thought that in a rational way, more of a subconscious thing.<br />Regardless...Richard got a whole hell of a lot of my wrath, but not nearly all of it. I saved the lion's share for Jaymie. Continuing contact with her was a mistake, but it did serve one purpose. She was my virtual punching bag. <br />You were much smarter than I was. You showed some self-control. No matter how hard an OW chases a WH, the WH can always say NO!!. It's a choice. Bottom line. No BS...and that stands for Bull Shit, not Betrayed Spouse!<br />Hope & Hugs, Shawnshawnthewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12655900090203024578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-41790110265861967082012-07-23T13:10:34.385-07:002012-07-23T13:10:34.385-07:00(sorry about that, here is the rest of my post)......(sorry about that, here is the rest of my post)...<br /><br />Thank God I listened to my IC and, for the most part, had no contact with her. I say for the most part because I did have a few highly satisfying experiences toying with her. But based on my husband's accounts of her, my IC is almost certain she has some kind of a personality disorder (BPD) that causes her to be easily enraged and unpredictable. So I have taken that advice and decided not to fuck with the spider and her web. And my husband? Besides feeling extremely stupid and remorseful, he has a new appreciation for me and our marriage and family, and that has been the mainstay of my recovery. It is like he has looked into hell and been given the second chance to turn around and walk way from that hell. Since the day that I discovered the text messages that unfolded into my dday, he cut her off so swiftly and completely that I think it shocked even her. She suddenly lost her power; her threats to tell and ruin his life were empty now. Now SHE was the one who had to worry; to worry about me telling HER husband and family. Touché, bitch, touché. <br /><br />So, tempting as it has been to out her, I just try to focus the simple pleasures of life with my newly grateful husband and our family...knowing that I am the woman that he loves and has always loved, even through his whole ugly relationship with her. It is a struggle, every day, but I can honestly say after just a year and two months from my dday, it does get better, thank God. I don't think I could have lived with the kind of gut wrenching pain for any extended length of time. Thank you, Shawn, for sharing your brave and inspiring story with others and for allowing me to share mine.<br /><br />Love, hugs, and blessings to you... **S**Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-79481494474442499062012-07-23T13:08:27.445-07:002012-07-23T13:08:27.445-07:00Hi again Shawn, and thank you for reminding me tha...Hi again Shawn, and thank you for reminding me that the events you are describing here are not happening in real time. Your recollections are so vividly described and well written that it is easy to forget that. I so appreciate the perspective you bring, the perspective that can only come with time and healing. <br /> <br />When I look back at my life the first 6 months after my dday, I am grateful that I had a caring and wise IC to give me some very good advice. The revenge against the OW thing has been a huge issue for me. She was a married co-worker of my husband's who had a huge crush on him and was hell bent on a new life with him, all the while pretending to be my friend. She plotted her scheme so expertly, she even lost weight and had a tummy tuck before her big seduction attempt with him. She waited until they were alone together on a business trip, 3,000 miles from home to make her move. A knock on his hotel room door late at night because she wanted to "talk". Trust me, I am not excusing my husband for any of this, but I can see how she worked him with the kind of attention and flattery that was extremely intoxicating. And then, like a stupid bug entangled in a spider's web, he was snared. She had "the goods" on him now. She threatened to tell me, tell their employer and co-workers about what had happened. Anyway, my weak husband attempted to placate her. He said she was volatile, had a wicked and unpredictable temper, especially when drinking (which seemed to be all of the time). She called him her "knight in shining armor"...yuck. No doubt, he was getting the side benefit of extremely hot sex, the kind that most married couples are not still having after 30 years, and I'm damn sure she wasn't having with HER husband. And she was highly motivated to win over the exec in the corner office (aka, my husband). After all, it had worked for her before. Oh yeah... she cheated with her current husband while he and she were both married and working together. She got knocked up, and they both left their respective spouses and children to be together and have their "love child" and get married. Well, when said child was nine years old is when she set her sights on my man, so I guess an affair with a co-worker isn't the best foundation for a marriage!! Sorry I am rambling here, I feel the need to explain the rage that I feel when I think of this irresponsible and selfish woman. What to do with the rage, that is the million dollar question...<br /><br />(I just realized that I have rambled on too long here, to be continued in a post to follow!!) **S**Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-53113161000560826132012-07-23T08:53:20.005-07:002012-07-23T08:53:20.005-07:00((Songbird))
You have had such a long hard road. ...((Songbird))<br />You have had such a long hard road. I wish you could move forward instead of being continually sucked back into your painful past. I wish you nothing but a happy future and I hope it starts today!<br />Remember...I'm writing this blog about things that happened over a year ago. I am now healing. This is the story of my journey, my road back to happy. What I'm blogging about now was the first few months after DDAY. Those days were no help to me at all. Sure, I made Jaymie miserable. I'll admit, that was kind of fun. But, it was fun for a minute. Didn't help my broken heart, didn't help me find my way back to Richard, didn't help me understand what had happened to my marriage. <br />I had to learn to focus on what was happening TODAY, not a year ago, not a month ago, not yesterday. How was my marriage today? I had to let Jaymie and the affair go. <br />No small feat, but the only way to heal.<br />Be happy, Songbird!!<br />Hope & Hugs, Shawnshawnthewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12655900090203024578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-34575712204798745332012-07-23T08:45:25.713-07:002012-07-23T08:45:25.713-07:00Hey, EMS!! I was wicked, crazy and mostly...so co...Hey, EMS!! I was wicked, crazy and mostly...so completely broken. As you know, this was pain I had never felt. I couldn't process the pain. I couldn't deal with the pain, so I focused on the rage. My reaction was to fight back, hurt Richard & Jaymie even more than they hurt me. And, as you also know, there is no way to accomplish that. Even if there was, it wouldn't make me heal any faster. <br />I hope other readers get that. What I did might sound like I was 'All that and a Bag of Chips!' I know lots of BWs want a piece of the OW. <br />I'm hear to tell you...SHE IS NOT WORTH IT!<br />Unless she continues to try to slime her way into your life, Let Her Go!<br />I truly hope other readers get that.<br />Hope & Hugs, Shawnshawnthewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12655900090203024578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-71269675016588568272012-07-23T08:29:54.909-07:002012-07-23T08:29:54.909-07:00Hello**S**,
Most of the readers here understand yo...Hello**S**,<br />Most of the readers here understand your pain, my pain...our pain. I believe unless you are a betrayed spouse, you can't get it. What I hope readers understand about my blog is I'm telling you my story that began in 10/10. I've had many months to look back on how the first year went after DDay and there is WHOLE lot I'd do differently. There are questions I would have asked Jaymie that I didn't, but mostly I'd have treated her as persona-non-grata...dead to me.<br />Revenge ain't gonna mend your broken heart. Only your WH can help you with that.<br />Please check in again. Let us know how recovery is going.<br />Hope & Hugs, Shawnshawnthewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12655900090203024578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-26247873639420748982012-07-23T00:56:26.748-07:002012-07-23T00:56:26.748-07:00Shawn,
You are one smart BW and you don't take...Shawn,<br />You are one smart BW and you don't take crap from anyone. You are lucky that at least you find out some of this information, as I never can and I am miserable because of not knowing things. Marriage is slowly going out the door. <br /><br />But back to your blog, I admire you so much for sticking up to your WH and the OW and threatening her to give you those things back. I think she knows that you have her over a studded barrel with you being able to get to her Daddy, so she has to respond to your demands. I think telling her family was the smartest thing you ever did. <br /><br />I would be just as livid as you to find out later, what you just found out and would have tried to do something about it.<br /><br />I hope you get it all back and then some. You Go Girl!<br /><br />Songbird, but you know who I am.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-15617784694810483262012-07-22T23:29:42.159-07:002012-07-22T23:29:42.159-07:00You are wicked!! I love it!You are wicked!! I love it!Scabshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13738638161899826056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3421316648540911532.post-38951909349786814542012-07-21T15:49:35.184-07:002012-07-21T15:49:35.184-07:00I have just started following your blog; I found y...I have just started following your blog; I found you (unfortunately for me) when I saw your comments on the Betrayed Wives Club site. I have started reading your posts from the beginning so that I could get the full back story. I am only in through your first 5 or 6 posts... I want to take the time to read each and every one of them, including the comments and I plan to read every word.<br />Girlfriend, I am just over a year from my dday and, holy shit, do I feel your pain! I was never one to swear much before, but the good girl in me has been pushed aside so that the newer, stronger, take-no-shit version could be set free. My, story, like yours, is long and messy and too complicated to share in this space but is similar to yours in so many ways. I can tell you that I am a kindhearted, smart, attractive 55 year old faithful and loving wife who was blindsided by my husband's affair. We have been married almost 37 years and raised two of the finest human beings you would ever want to meet (I am a little biased!!) We are admired and respected in our community and have a loving circle of friends and extended family. So why in the hell do men (and women, obviously) jeopardize all of this wonderfulness for the occasional fuck with someone outside of their marriage? I have my theories, and I am learning so much by reading the stories of other betrayed wives so that it is all starting to crystallize for me.<br />So you go girl, get that swag back from that <br />bitch/whore, I am living vicariously through you and your stories of revenge!! Not an option for me, but that is another part of my long story...<br />Love and hugs to you too,<br />**S**Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com