Time to Lawyer Up

Each word I read of Jaymie's statement in the restraining order subpoena was another step backward, deeper into Crazy Town.  Any of the meager progress I'd made traveling out of that God forsaken hell hole was nearly lost.  I say "nearly" because I had an ace in that hole...the good people of the Healing Heart.  I don't think I went to them for help when I first received the order to appear in court.  Wish I had.  Yeah, whatever!  If wishes and buts were candy and nuts my cheating husband would have kept it in his pants and I wouldn't be writing this blog!  Blah....

Anyway, my anger level was peaking as I read how she felt like such a victim.   Her life was so disrupted by my intrusions!  PLEASE!  She'd noted that she had an affair with my husband.  That was the way she put it.  "A year ago I had an affair with Shawn's husband."  The rest was all about my "harassment" of her and her family.  Most of it was true.  Some of it wasn't.  Didn't matter.  I wanted to make her eat every word and the paper it was printed on.

I needed a lawyer and NOT the one I was married to.  I wanted a shark.  Someone that would help me take down Jaymie like the doomed swimmer chick at the beginning of 'Jaws'.  (I'm loving that visual!) Asked Richard who I should call and he suggested 'D' the law partner of banished best friend, Marc.  'D' isn't just Marc's partner.  He is also a very old and dear friend of ours, because of that I chose to use only his first initial in this post.  I say "our friend" but more accurately I mean Richard's.  We knew 'D' way before Marc, but it's a boy's club, I tell ya.  They are only friendly with the wives if there is no need to cover the man's rear end.

In my mind's eye, I saw myself in court, facing Jaymie, all lawyered up and supremely intimidating.  I'd get my chance to speak and my voice would make her ears bleed.  This is what I had wanted for a year.  This is why I "harassed" her and her family.  She would have to sit there while Geek Boy Kevin, Daddy James and maybe even her Mama listened to me wax eloquent about the times she got naked with my husband, the places she slept with him and even the time she begged him to leave me and our kids.  They would learn of all the lies she told to be with him in secret and how she was tossed aside like a used condom when I found out.
I was thinking I could chalk a big one up in my win column.

Did Richard really want me to drag 'D' into this?  I tried to reason with him that he was running out of friends.  Maybe we should use a stranger.  I planned to spill it all.  Keeping it as anonymous as possible seemed to be the responsible and reasonable thing to do.  (the fact that I had any reasonable thoughts at that time is surprising, right?)  He felt like 'D' would take the best care of me. That's how he put it.  He explained that a restraining order was not a little thing to be dismissed.  This was very serious and he wanted a friend to have my back.
I said OK.  He's the lawyer.  Gotta trust his gut when heading to court.

He gave 'D' a call and set up an appointment for me.  I think I saw him the next day.  I went to his office and of course, Marc was there.  I didn't even look at him.  Walked straight to 'D's office and sat with my back to the door.  I was grateful for the positioning.  'D's desk faced out to the hall, straight toward Marc's office and both walls were all glass.  Staring out at Marc while I told 'D' the horrific story would have been too much.  I mean...it was all TOO MUCH, but that might have sent me running for another attorney in a hurry.

'D' let me tell him about the past year and how I couldn't wait to share it all in court.  He seemed like a good listener, but I think he was manipulating me, or at least trying to.  He really thought if he let me bad mouth Richard and Jaymie in the privacy of his office I'd get it out of my system and he could talk me into a gentler way of dealing with the mess I'd created.
I found out later that's how he saw it.  This was MY mess.  He thought Richard should be running for the hills because I was a nut job.

He tried to convince me that I was talking about ruining Richard reputation.  That open court wasn't a place to air dirty laundry.  He told me I might not even get a chance to speak.  I said if I didn't, then he was a really shitty attorney.  I gave him a chance to back out.  I told him I thought contacting him to represent me was a bad idea, but that Richard was adamant.
I asked him if he was my lawyer or Richard's.  That was key.

I was in that office over an hour.  Crying, yelling and demanding, but not once acquiescing.  'D' finally decided he was not changing my mind that day, so he offered up a compromise.
He said, "Let me call Jaymie.  Let me get a feel of where she is on this.  Maybe I can find a way to work all this out."

Work it all out??  Wow.  Was 'D' really like "Super Lawyer"?  What did work it all out even mean?  My head was throbbing and my eyes were swollen from sobbing.  I was spent.  I asked again, "Are you my lawyer or Richard's?"  He assured me he would be my attorney and mine alone.
Can you believe I bought that?