After an affair, your life doesn't belong to you anymore. For over a year, I couldn't control my own thoughts.
The turmoil in my head was viciously repetitive but savagely random. With this blog, I began to exorcise the demons holding my head hostage.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

I'm Done

Did the title make you think I was Done with Richard?
Done with my marriage of 34 years?
I certainly see how you might think that.

To those of you still struggling in affair recovery....that's not why I'm writing today.
To the reconciliation hating nay-sayers, that isn't what this post is about at all.

To the friends I've made along my Road to Happy....this post is my virtual pat on the back.  I survived and thrived after DDay and now that part of my past is Done.

It's almost here.  The 6 year anti-versary.

Just a few years ago, I would have spent the past month agonizing over exactly what my former wayward husband was doing on any given day in the fall of 2010.
Yeah....there were lots of dates I could have stewed about these past couple of months, but I'm Done.

I'm so Done.
No...I'm not "Over it".
No...I haven't forgotten any of it.  Even if I had forgotten the details due to my less than stellar memory, I'm blessed with this blog for referrals to assist with any unnecessary memory jogging.
That wasn't sarcasm.
This blog has been and will continue to be a blessing in my life.  It was a huge part of my healing process and much to my surprise, has helped others that know the deep trauma of infidelity.
And, No....there has been no new found forgiveness in our household.
I maintain that acceptance is sufficient to facilitate a strong marriage least for me.

By Done, I only mean Done with revisiting the pain.  I didn't even have a momentary twinge of heartache this year.  I don't remember have much last year either.  Guess I could check my blog archives to be sure, but I'm Done, so I won't.

6 freaking years to be Done.  That's a truly scary time-line for those fresh into the mess after DDay, but it does not need to be.
It flew by.  Every anti-versary brought me closer to being Done with all of it.

I hope you don't feel like I'm being flip about this.
I didn't just decide to be Done.
I just realized and chose to verbalize that I am Done.
I hope you don't think I'm sharing today just to wake up the blog.
I had time on my hands this morning.  I had some new emails from readers.
I looked at the calendar and considered the date.
I realized it matters not.  It could be any day.
I don't feel the melancholy tug any more.
I thought some of you might wanna know that.
I'm done and it feels great.
Hope & Hugs, my Friends.