After an affair, your life doesn't belong to you anymore. For over a year, I couldn't control my own thoughts.
The turmoil in my head was viciously repetitive but savagely random. With this blog, I began to exorcise the demons holding my head hostage.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

I'm Done

Did the title make you think I was Done with Richard?
Done with my marriage of 34 years?
I certainly see how you might think that.

To those of you still struggling in affair recovery....that's not why I'm writing today.
To the reconciliation hating nay-sayers, that isn't what this post is about at all.

To the friends I've made along my Road to Happy....this post is my virtual pat on the back.  I survived and thrived after DDay and now that part of my past is Done.

It's almost here.  The 6 year anti-versary.

Just a few years ago, I would have spent the past month agonizing over exactly what my former wayward husband was doing on any given day in the fall of 2010.
Yeah....there were lots of dates I could have stewed about these past couple of months, but I'm Done.

I'm so Done.
No...I'm not "Over it".
No...I haven't forgotten any of it.  Even if I had forgotten the details due to my less than stellar memory, I'm blessed with this blog for referrals to assist with any unnecessary memory jogging.
That wasn't sarcasm.
This blog has been and will continue to be a blessing in my life.  It was a huge part of my healing process and much to my surprise, has helped others that know the deep trauma of infidelity.
And, No....there has been no new found forgiveness in our household.
I maintain that acceptance is sufficient to facilitate a strong marriage least for me.

By Done, I only mean Done with revisiting the pain.  I didn't even have a momentary twinge of heartache this year.  I don't remember have much last year either.  Guess I could check my blog archives to be sure, but I'm Done, so I won't.

6 freaking years to be Done.  That's a truly scary time-line for those fresh into the mess after DDay, but it does not need to be.
It flew by.  Every anti-versary brought me closer to being Done with all of it.

I hope you don't feel like I'm being flip about this.
I didn't just decide to be Done.
I just realized and chose to verbalize that I am Done.
I hope you don't think I'm sharing today just to wake up the blog.
I had time on my hands this morning.  I had some new emails from readers.
I looked at the calendar and considered the date.
I realized it matters not.  It could be any day.
I don't feel the melancholy tug any more.
I thought some of you might wanna know that.
I'm done and it feels great.
Hope & Hugs, my Friends.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Ya Need a Light?

It's been over 4 months since I felt my life contained anything worthy of your time....or mine, for that matter!  Seriously.  It's basic boring bliss around here and I do not mind that a bit, but it sure ain't worth wasting perfectly good idle hours pontificating about my mundane day to day Road to Happy.

So, why am I choosing to type today?
It ain't All About Me!

Probably shocking to those of you that have read my story and believe me to be the ultimate, most narcissistic, control freak of all time.  Sorry but you may have to dial back your strong opinion of me, at least for this one post.
Many days I still hear from readers recently swept into the cyclone that is DDay.
Somehow they reach into cyberspace and grab a handful of Crazy Town and hang on for dear life.
I fear they may find way too much dark here.
I worry that there isn't enough light to guide them.
A reader once referred to me and other betrayed wife bloggers as "Lighthouses".
Way back when I was still writing, still healing, she told me that we helped her find her way through the dark days of her infidelity storm.

I don't feel much like a lighthouse, but I could be a flashlight.

This petitte post is my way of checking the batteries on my flashlight.
I was saved by other betrayed wives that walked their Road to Happy before me.
Pulled from the dark belly of the beast of betrayal by the angels of The Healing Heart.
Now that's a lighthouse!!  The light that shines there is resplendent and brilliant!

My flashlight may be meager in comparison, but the beam is steadfast.
Please use it as needed.

You are NOT Alone.

You can comment here.
You can email me:
or visit the place of my salvation,  The Healing Heart
I still read and comment there frequently.

I'm done telling my story, but I will never be done walking my Road to Happy.
If you wanna walk with me, if you need a friend on your healing journey,
please count me in.  We can share the flashlight.