After an affair, your life doesn't belong to you anymore. For over a year, I couldn't control my own thoughts.
The turmoil in my head was viciously repetitive but savagely random. With this blog, I began to exorcise the demons holding my head hostage.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Pity Pang

Hello, friends and lurking Trolls!  I've missed you!  I hope today finds you well and walking the Road to Happy with solid, stable ground beneath your boots.

My blog has been in a cryogenic sleep, of sorts.  My intent was to warm it up to wake it up should something feel worthwhile to share.  That happened about 10 minutes ago.  It might not be anything new or all that interesting to you, but it struck a chord in an area of my core that hasn't been active in many moons.
I'm hoping the awakening may serve the greater good.

This morning, while enjoying a nice cup of black tea and a luxurious breakfast of bacon and eggs, I lazily scanned my Facebook page and saw this:

A little background:  A friend of mine, let's call her Rita, phoned me last week and announced her marriage to a very immature husband, we'll refer to him as Shit-for-Brains (Maybe SFB to be expedient) was over and she needed my husband's help.  (to refresh your memory...Richard is a family law attorney.)  Rita, in the pain and the confusion of her 3rd DDay with SFB found this ECard humorous enough to share with the world on her Facebook Page.  Her comment posted with the Card was, "This made me laugh!"  Followed by numerous 'laughing with tears dropping' emoticons.

Don't wanna skip past the fact that this is the 3rd DDay for her.  THIRD DDay.  That's right.  Strike freakin' three.  Me thinks those tears falling from the smiling emoticon aren't really from laughing. Rita is blessed with a beautiful 3 year old son and is expecting her daughter to arrive in 2 months.  Now, instead of enjoying the last few weeks of her pregnancy with her loving spouse, she is planning a divorce.  There are no more chances for SFB.  This time the other woman, so thoughtfully referred to here as the Bitch-Whore or BW, is pregnant with SFB's third kid.

What motivated me to post was the PANG.  I read the ECard snippet and there was a nearly audible PANG in my heart.  I don't think about She Who Shall Not Be Named anymore, even though there are a couple of trolls who like to comment now and then and share updates of her sorry life with me.  (weird, right?)
But the PANG returned She Who Shall Not Be Named momentarily to the forefront of my mind.

I didn't feel pain or regret or even anger.  Here's the kicker....
I FELT PITY!  A Pang of Pity! A PITY Pang!!

The Pang compelled me to write.  I want to type a stern warning to all Bitch Whores (I know that name doesn't make my feelings of pity seem very sincere, but I assure you, I do feel the Pity Pang) about the errors of their sinful ways.  I wanted to wave a white flag and offer a a bit of wisdom that most women are privy too, but must be allusive to the majority of BWs that, as the EComic so eloquently proclaims, Just Don't Get It.
Here we go.....Head's up BWs or any readers out there considering becoming a BW in the future:
REAL love is never based on lies!  NEVER!  You can try to convince yourself that your man just needs time.   Or...the evil wife is using his kids against him. are soul mates.  If you can only have half of him, that's all you need.  He gives you the best of himself.
PLEASE, BWs of the world!!  Do not buy into that steaming pile of excrement!  You deserve better.
Anyone deserves better...even delusional BWs.
I pity the BWs that rationalize away the lies.
I despise the Liars.

I get that some BWs are lied to and kept in the dark about the wife and the other life.  But, those BWs deserve our pity as well, because how dumb do you have to be to not wonder why you are never able to visit your boyfriend's house?  Or, what is the density of your cranium if your TRUE love never wants to sleep over to wake up with you?  That's a serious lack of IQ points.  Pathetic.

I knew I'd post when I thought I had something that might be useful, informative or at the very least eye opening to me.  I never imagined it would be a Pity Pang for BWs.

For the betrayed spouses reading....Maybe this post can be of help to some of you, too.  No one expects you to feel pity for the BW.  Oh, HELL NO!  I had a solid 2 years of intense hatred and visceral animosity going for She Who Shall Not Be named.  After that, it was a couple more years of basic apathy.
But just look where I am now!  My Pity Pang is just one more sign that I've moved way ahead on my Road to Happy.  It seems I've walked much further than I realized.  It feels right to share that with you.

My heart aches for Rita.  She is just beginning to walk the Road.  I'm gonna walk with her and try to show her the way.