Sunday, September 16, 2012
F%#K Fantasy Football! Part 2
Let's face it. The change of plan was ONLY to appease me, to keep life pleasant in our humble home.
Richard didn't decide to stay away from Michelle and the draft party because he wanted to or even because he thought it was the right thing to do. He just did not want to rock the boat. At this point, I was fine with that! I didn't think it through. (That's a phrase I've over used writing this blog!) I should have cared A LOT that he was only doing it for me. When he makes his decisions based only on what I want, it's gonna lead straight to more secretive behavior. In fact, it already had. I just didn't know it yet.
Back to Lie #1. Discovery was made as follows:
Me: "What are you guys doing? Working on draft stuff?"
Lukas: "Yep. Picking our team."
Me: "I'm really glad you figured out a way to stay in the league. I know you enjoyed it a lot last year. How did you pick your team last year? I mean, you were in this league before and you never went to the draft party. How did it work then?"
Richard jumped in: "We had somebody else pick for us."
Lukas: "Yea. We had our other team member go to the draft."
Me: "Who was on your team last year?"
Lukas, glanced at dad and announced: "Michelle was on our team last year."
Me, glaring at Richard: "Guess you neglected to share that little factoid with me. Wonder why?"
In a split second I went from very grateful to Richard for compromising to appease me, to so damn angry that my head and gut hurt. Richard knew his goal of keeping a peaceful home was just torpedoed. Damage control was needed, pronto! As soon as the boys had completed their work selecting what they hoped would be a stellar team, Richard asked me to come outside and talk.
Me: "Another lie. A year old lie! You are unbelievable!"
Richard: "It wasn't a lie. I just didn't tell you. It meant nothing."
There was lots of back and forth bullshit that boiled down to a huge impasse. Me accusing him of not getting it. (another over used phrase) A PURPOSEFUL omission is a lie! He became increasingly defensive and it got ugly. He was gonna rub my face in it.
Richard: "Go ahead. Ask me what other things I haven't told you."
Of course I took him up on that!
Richard: "I hiked up the mountain with Marc when you were out of town working. I was gonna tell you, but I didn't because I knew you'd make a big deal out of it."
You see where this is going, right? I don't need to type out all the dialog. It is just too damn predictable. Lie #3 was in the lovely Dr. K's office. Richard talked about things he really wanted to do and how he was becoming resentful that I was still holding him hostage. (not his words, but definitely his meaning) He admitted to a happy hour with a new associate at his firm and Michelle.
And...Swing batter! Strike Three! You're OUT! (Threw in baseball terminology because that is my sport of choice. Football sucks.)
The days since then have been wickedly tense. Seriously, I haven't felt this crappy in months. The whole depressed, exhaustion feeling...oh, yea. I got that. Wanting to start sucking down vodka WAY before happy hour. Yep. It's only lunch time now and I'm thinking Kettle One and Tonic sounds awesome. Scared shitless that Richard doesn't have it in him to do what I need to save our marriage. Damn straight. I'd be a fool not to face that. He thinks I'm asking too much of him. He says the length of punishment doesn't fit the crime, that I don't give him enough credit for how hard he has worked to save our marriage for nearly 2 years.
After I finish this post, I'm gonna go back to blogging about months past. I gotta get on with the story. I need to let this setback settle.
Not to worry. If anymore deceitful shit hits the fan. You'll be the first to know.