The worst year? Yea. No doubt about it. Thanks to my carnal craving husband.
Even though most of the year was filled with fun, whale watching in January, a great ski trip in February, my 50th birthday celebration with my dearest friends in Vegas in June, a trip with our kids to New York and a long over due family reunion in West Virginia in July...even with all of that being beyond wonderful, so many special memories that will last a lifetime... DDay on September 12th negated the lot.
Isn't that what happens? You feel blessed with a lifetime of happy. Lucky to have found the perfect mate to share the best years of your life, humming through your days in harmony...Then...WHAMMO! A vicious reality check! Your perfect spouse is really a nefarious liar! I know I can't speak for all betrayed spouses. Some had less than happy marriages before DDay, but even still..none of us thought we'd end up on the shitty end of the infidelity stick. (EEWWWW. I seem to have a severe case of potty mouth this morning! Sorry.)
I said "perfect" mate. I know no one's perfect, but damn...my life felt pretty effin' perfect until my head on collision with adultery. 2010 had been chock-full of fabulous! Such a damn shame all the great got blown out of the water by my husband's choice to cheat. How could I cherish the memories of my birthday in Vegas, when I now know he was texting her from every casino? Why would I want to remember the New York City vacation with my kids? That's when I noticed Richard had learned to use his camera phone. I praised him for his technical advances! The pictures were for Jaymie. He wanted to include her in our sightseeing adventures.
Not where this post was supposed to go, but if my blog is part of your regular reading diet you understand I tend to loose focus. I had intended to blog about the last days of 2010. Let's see if I can get to it...
After I asked Richard for divorce, things calmed down at home. Now that a decision had been made, we just had to devise a plan to get our new lives up and running. There were many elements to consider, but finances and family were at the top of the to-do list.
Telling the family, especially our kids, was the scariest part of the proposition and would have to wait until we knew when Richard was leaving and where he would go. That's a conversation you only wanna have once, (well, preferably never, but wadda ya gonna do?) so it's best to get your details straight before the talk takes place.
Step One: We needed to budget for two households. We reviewed all our incoming and outgoing cash. It was quickly apparent that some belt tightening would be required. After we determined how much we could afford to spend on rent for Richard's solitary confinement, we started searching for places in our price range. It was looking more and more like he would take up residence at the YMCA.
Weird that we did all this as a team. We actually spent more time in casual conversation that weekend than anytime since DDay. We even exchanged a few emails the following week that tended toward the light hearted. A specific date for Richard to depart to accommodations unknown was never verbalized. He didn't say a word because he didn't want to go. If I wasn't gonna complain about him dragging his wayward feet, he certainly wasn't gonna mention it. I didn't set a time frame because **Newsflash** I didn't want him to go either.
I say, "Get out!"
I mean, "Please don't leave me!" UGH!
It was about me wanting him to think that I wanted him to leave...I think.
We rang in the New Year as a family having no idea if we would continue to be a family in 2011.
I remember hearing Auld Lang Syne at midnight.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind? (If her name is Jaymie...You bet your ass!)
I wished to God I could forget the last 3 months of my life.
Happy Freakin' New Year.