I didn't have to wait long for a reply from Daddy James. My email to him sharing my experience at HIS church, with HIS friends made him jump right up and kick into damage control mode with a large dose of caution and a substantial degree of trepidation. He went straight to the Lord to try and keep me in line. As soon as I got his email, I furiously typed a response. His words are in black. My response is in red.
As much as it shames me to admit it...I was elated by this email!! Ecstatic! Jubilant even! I had made Daddy James worry (I might even say freak out!) about poor Jaymie's public reputation. I reveled in the fact that was making him squirm! I was feeling oh, so happy with myself so I sent the above dialog to Richard with the heading: "I am SOOOO Going to Hell!" I sent it to him because I knew he would be MORTIFIED that I was taunting Daddy James! Richard didn't care what I did to him. He didn't care who I told about what he did, but dragging Jaymie's family into my Anger Abyss made him cringe!
At times, that just pissed me off more. Why in the hell did he care what happened to any of them? They were nothing! They were irrelevant! (Except to the continued loss of my mind) It was all Jaymie's fault! If only she had sent me the emails her family would never have had to know she was stupid enough to spread her legs for a 60 year old married man.
Richard never tried to stop me as I travelled through Crazy Town blaming Jaymie for buying my entrance ticket along the way. Sometimes I was even able to get him to carry my luggage. Richard was as broken as I was. Not angry, just severely depressed and guilt ridden. I used that to my advantage.
Are you surprised or appalled that I can let myself off the hook and not harbor guilt? I do not blame myself for my time in Crazy Town, but this part of Crazy Town was where few ever venture and was much too close to Hell. Very soon I would begin to feel the heat.